关于面试的英语剧本《面试》台词完整版

《面试》
准备道具,注意动作,查好音标！
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an original drama, and here is a personnel department, the manager 包拯 is going to interview some wierd applicants.
Round one
First one
I：升堂~~~其他人：威~~~武~~~（四个人齐声喊威武）
I:Oops, sorry, today we don’t hold judgement, I’m going to have a interview.
（knock the door)I：Come in!
I:Hope this doesn’t embarrass you，but I found the best way to do with the interviewee is to size them up with a long hard stare.（long hard读音拖长）
I: So!
A: So？！
I: First time!
A: Yes!（激动）
I: Scary?
I: Yes...（害怕状）
I：Don’t be scared! （训斥状）
A：Oh I’m not really scared. （大方地笑）
I: Well you should be.  (教育状)
A: Well I’m a little bit scared.（装害怕，声音压低）
I： What? don’t be!
A：Make up your mind!你决定吧！（很无奈，语气稍轻）
I：So ,here you are.（好吧，你说吧）
A：Well, my name is Snow White, I own a big castle as you can see（手伸向PPT）, and I have seven dwarfs as butlers. Besides, I’ve won champianships in the“avenue of stars”、“let’s shake it” （星光大道、舞林大会），so I’m looking forward to....（手交叉转圈比划）
I：Well you said on your CV（简历） you had lots of experience with dancing!
A:I did say that yes... I have lots of experience with the whole...dancing..thing, JAZZ、latin、belly dance、hip-hop...I could show you
I：Do！
A：跳了一段舞
I：（大笑）Ah ha!well you certainly seem to be professional, but seemingly we don’t a dancer here.
A:默默上去按摩。satisfied？
I:Ah ha, not bad.I’m gonna give you the chance to round two.
A：What?Oh~三克油~~（调戏下巴）
I:Don’t flirt me!Just get out!
A:OK, bye~
Second one（略带口吃）
I: Ok next !
I：En hen~handsome old man~
B: En hen~black boy~
I:are you Du Fu?
B:No no no ,I’m Li Bai, Du Fu is my best friend, he is too busy to come
I:Too busy?
B:Yeah~（PPT上图片依次反映，一边播放“杜甫很忙”歌曲）Look, he was learning motorcycle,and went to the Carribbean,and he enjoyed eating MCDONALD’S. He played basketball in NBA, and he went to Shanghai for F1 racing. Rencently ,he wrote a song called Du Fu is very busy. Yesterday, he found his truelove, so he won’t come.
I:Well, sounds we miss a talented people,it’s OK.So, what about you?what are your personal strengths？
B：Well well well well well,my improvisation ability is very very very very very good.
I： Really？You do? Show me.
B：（念诗加上动作，念诗之前潇洒地摘下眼镜并且甩开事后记得拿回来！） Let me create a poem immediately
IN THE QUIET NIGHT
So bright a gleam on the foot of my bed
Could there have been a frost already?
Lifting myself to look, I found that it was moonlight.
Sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home.
念完陶醉地摸摸胡子（道具胡子）
I：g、g、good job for you（这里被传染口吃）, handsome old man, but we don’t need poet at present...
B（偷偷地）Here !Li Hei’s autograph..（亲笔签名） It’s yours now~
I:OK OK, for your brother Li Hei’s sake,please go outside right now and wait my annoncement.
B：Fine~
I: next! next!!!!!!（大声喊）where~~~are~~~~you~~~（手作扩音状，拖长音）
Third one
C：only you背景音乐响起。（很吃力地把一堆证书放在桌子上）Hope you don’t mind~
I: Holy god! （翻阅证书拖时间）Bond certificate, assurance certificate, accounting certificate....
C:Oh, a peace of cake! I got these when heading towards West for Buddhist  scripture.
I:I’m sorry, are you good at all these stuff?
C:Not only these...I’m also a wonderful singer!It happened that recently I learned a chinese nursery rhyme from 方臻。
 (猛然站起来,摇道具唱歌。饮料和手电筒都摇)（唱歌的时候靠近、闪躲动作）
孩子 孩子 为何你这么坏          欺负 欺骗 为何你做出来
学会做好小孩 相亲相爱           关怀就在心中 充满色彩
乖乖 你快回来                   我怀抱一直为你打开
乖乖 要真心悔改                 你永远是我最爱的小孩
乖乖 你快回来                   要努力学习为了未来
回头 做孝顺的小孩               本来人性 都是善良像小孩
I: S...s...s..stop!What the hell are you singing！Go away go away..
C:（QQ表情委屈手指表情）Oh no!Please！Just give me one more chance! I heard you are finding a vice-management? i’m absolutely suitable for it!
I：（拿剧本遮脸）But ...we’ve already have a person selected
C：How about accountant? Or assistant ? I can even clean the toilet!Or I can help you kill monster！（拿起法杖挥几下）嘿，white bone demon，嘿，pig demon,I’m not afraid of you!（停顿一会儿，从袈裟里拿出）You see this certificate? “three good student”!
I：（很无奈的样子，又带着嫌弃）Ok ok , I will consider. You should really get out now...there is still a person waiting..
Forth one
（倩女幽魂音乐响起，D飘进来）
D：采臣~采臣~
I：Sorry,I’m 包拯, not 采臣
D：Of course ! 采臣 can’t be the same black as you.
I:Aren’t you here for interview?Or you just make fun of me?
D:Oh I’m here to apply for a job. My name is 小倩。I have a talent for using computer!
I：oh my!you? You kidding me!
D：Seriously, sometimes I use QQ to chat with 采臣。
I: How many years have you learned computer？
D:（伸出三根手指）
I: Wow!three years?that’s really a long time!
D:No...I mean ..three days
I：what?!
D：Three days is enough!My teacher is master Chen！
I:Who? Which Chen?
D:成焱.陈
I: Wow....You mean the crazy、dirty boy 鹏峰.钱’s roommate?
D:呃。。。Yes....
I：Oh,disgusting!
I:So, you must have played many games!
D：You don’t say!(那必须的)
I: What do you enjoy?LOL?WOW? CS？
D: （英语语调）E…Lianliankan……连连看
I：（喷水）Ok , what can you do?
D：（顿一顿，思考状）Well...you know,e mails, sending E,receiving E,delating E...and...using mouse, mices, clicking, double-clicking（做动作）
I：Ah ha!you mean you are good at IT! Great!I think you may be the right woman whom we are searching for! I’ll give you an extra chance,you can still participate round two.
D:Oh ,you are so nice!（激动）
Round two
I:Now every body come in!
I：You’ve already knew that we only want one person to take this job,so I’m gonna ask you guys some “easy”（拖长音，显得很神秘狡猾） questions and see who scores more,who is the smartest person. Are you ready? are you ?you? you?and you?
I：Ok,first one: One day you went hiking, when you woke up in the night,you see stars shining brightly, and what would you think for?
A:Your tent had been stolen!
I:  Exactly！！！
I：Next: a man is sleeping, suddenly his baby starts crying because of hunger.So which part of this man’s body can he choose to feed the bady?
B: （举手）Me me me …（A举手被B压制，按了下去）Sorry，I’m a little bit excited.The answer is his feet! Because feet can wake mom up and feed the baby !
I：（拿纸巾擦了擦冷汗）You are right...Ok,third:One day a pig tried to across a bridge, its weight is three hundred pounds,and the bridge’s weight is five hundred pounds. Why the bridge collapsed when the pig was acrossing?
C:(马上站起来)So easy, this pig was driving!
A、B、D：A pig can drive?!
I: Be quiet! Her answer is correct，sit down please（C很嚣张地对大家依次作揖，大家掉头不理她。对面试官作揖，面试官默默拿剧本挡住脸）
I：All right!Every one pay attention!It’s the last one, prick up your ears!（顿一会儿）Usually we devide pain into twelve levels,the first level is bitten by mosquito. The twelfth level is the deliver process of a pregnant woman.So?what’s the thirteenth level？
（众人先是陷入沉思）D:I got it! It’s a pregnant woman bitten by mosquito when she is delivering!
I：Bingo！嗯。。。。Every one got one score, now that’s a tough situation. How about the audience?Let them decide it.OK, let’s turn to our audience!all of you, hands up and vote your favorite interviewer!
被选上的人做一个捂脸很羞涩的动作
The end(bow to everyone)
结局B版本：
I：嗯。。。。Every one got one score, now that’s a tough situation. I don’t have the right to pick one of you,so let’s turn to our beautiful teacher.Mrs.Lin~~~Mrs.Lin,you choose one.